Hey you.
Meet Excuse.
Excuse lives in two cities, Noun and Verb. Right now, we’re only concerned with Excuse’s presence in the city of Noun.
In Noun city, Excuse is a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.
Excuse has many friends.
You may have heard of them. They are: Reason, Justification, Rationalization, Cover, Defense, Plea, Story, Explain, etc.
Story can show up with Excuse when you tell yourself how you hold yourself back. Excuse and Story, among other variations of the friends, keep you small, safe, secure, comfortable, protected, conservative, and limited.
No judgement, no criticism. Living in such a way with such friends might be the life you want for yourself, that’s ok with me, I can honor it and respect it.
Here are 5 steps to friending or unfriending Excuse.
1. Accept the friendship.
Yes, accept your relationship with Excuse. Accept the relationship and decide how you want the relationship to be.
Decide to embrace Excuse and continue to live as you are.
Or, decide to take a leap of trust, and conquer Excuse.
After all, you can’t change a pair of socks until you realize you are wearing them.
2. Own it.
Yes, own the excuse. Learn to understand the Story you are telling yourself that keeps you the way you are.
Do not care where the excuse came from or why it exists. Such thinking will only keep you in the past.
Instead, see how your relationship with Excuse affects you. Understand Excuse, and which friends are also in the room. Story? Rationalization? Look for friends of Excuse and understand what habits and behaviors you have that give life to the Excuse party.
3. See the strength.
Now that you’ve learned to see the Excuse party, learn to see the strength.
Learn to see what exists in your world that makes you strong, powerful, and more of what you want to become.
I realize this is abstract, so let’s get specific.
Tell me you don’t have money, and I will help you see what you have and what you can do with it.
Tell me you don’t have time, and I will help you see how much time you really have.
Tell me you are not good enough, and I will help you see how you are more than enough.
Tell me you are limited by education, and I will help you see how you are able to adapt and be resourceful.
Tell me your idea is too crazy, and I will help you see how crazy it may be, and how you are the perfect person to bring it to life.
Tell me you are too old or too young, and I will help you see your wisdom or your potential.
Tell me you can’t change, and I will help you see how you have changed.
Tell me you are afraid of failing, and I will help you see how failing is impossible.
Tell me you have more planning to do, and I will help you see you’ve done enough.
Tell me your significant partner is holding you back, and I will help you see how you are cared for and how you can embrace more of who you want to become.
Tell me you are afraid of judgment, and I will help you remove the fear and powerfully embrace who you are.
None of these scenarios are rooted in doing something.
They are rooted in becoming something.
This is what I bring to my clients.
It starts with seeing the insight. It starts with the inner sight. When you can see the way, you can walk the path.
4. Progress in what you have power over.
Make progress in what you have power over.
Pay attention to my words: "in what you have power over."
Not what you are concerned about or what you can influence.
I am speaking to the things you have direct power over.
When you befriend Excuse, you likely befriend something outside of you.
What do you get by focusing there?
When you can see what you are doing, you can progress beyond. You can create space for expansion.
Just imagine... if only Excuse knew.
If only your friend Excuse knew that it only exists because of where you are looking.
If only you knew that this is the difference between moving your head from the direction of the dark forest to the direction of the green hillside. Then again, sometimes the dark forest is necessary. If only less people became lost there.
5. Let go.
Let go of your friend, Excuse.
Let go of the whole party.
Let go of the thing you hold onto.
Let go of the weights, the burdens, the excuses, the pain, the suffering.
Let go of your words.
Let go of people.
And find yourself, and your power, to stand on your own in the way you wish to stand.
Maybe even allow yourself to be destroyed.
