Meet Max and Daisy.
Max and Daisy each engage their environment differently.
Both have had a life that wasn't exactly "easy."
Max and Daisy have each experienced what they would call a type of turbulence.
Hardships, challenges, and struggles.
This turbulence they experienced throughout their life has served them well in founding and running a company: they are able to adapt and evolve.
There is one key differentiator about how Max and Daisy interact with their environment.
Max is disempowered by his environment.
Daisy is empowered by her environment.
Max and Daisy are both affected by their environment, but the meaning they make out of it is different.
In Max's world, things happen to him. Stuff goes bad. He loses clients. He never seems to get what he wants. He often feels stuck. He's struggled with depression. He has anxious tendencies. His team feels like it's always a roller coaster with him and they're never sure what to expect or what mood Max is going to be in today.
Daisy is also affected by her environment, but she has decided to engage with her environment differently. She uses her environment, instead of getting used by her environment. She uses her environment to learn more about who she is by how she chooses to respond. She then reflects on how she responds and sometimes she decides to change behaviors to serve her and her future better. If Daisy feels uncomfortable with her environment, or certain situations, instead of describing how her environment made her feel uncomfortable, she leans in. She examines, reflects, and evolves. And when she can't change a behavior or doesn't understand, she has the courage to ask for help.
Daisy's team feels Daisy is grounded and they trust her leadership in the company. They do this despite what the company faces. Daisy doesn't shoulder everything, she shares openly with the team, and she shares what she learns.
Max and Daisy, both affected by their environment, but they each create different meaning.
Max tells stories about how he was affected.
Daisy learns about who she is and responds in alignment with her values.
Max says entrepreneurship is a roller coaster of "high highs" and "low lows."
Daisy doesn't necessarily believe that. She's grounded in who she is and how she experiences entrepreneurship.
Max and Daisy both experience the same success, but life around them unfolds differently.
Max tends to be the high achiever type that puts a lot of pressure on himself. The intensity that he experiences is reflective of what demands he places on who he is... he needs to adapt to his environment so he doesn't get used by it!
Daisy tends to be a high achiever, but she has power over it. Her desire to achieve highly doesn't have power over her. She is self-compassionate and has a different relationship with who she is.
Max's company culture reflects how he lives. Others use the same language and show up in the same way, banded together on the roller coaster to combat the high highs and low lows together.
Daisy's company culture reflects who she is and how she is. The company shows up together, calmly, in a learning mode, moving together towards a vision Daisy has shared.
On Max's team, people speak fast. With a lot of emotion, sometimes anger. So much is happening to everyone! High highs! Low lows! People repeatedly step over each other when communicating. Because, survival mode! Everyone is being affected by their environment, fully hooked into the roller coaster of whatever is happening in the company.
On Daisy's team, people speak calmly. Sometimes fast, but it's with excitement. When people speak, they allow others to finish their sentences. Everyone listens intently and compassionately.
Employees on Max's team often go home stressed, and anxious, often feeling overworked and underappreciated. Underappreciated because their leader has created meaning that disempowers himself. He's focused on what's happening around him, not his people.
Employee's on Daisy's team go home calm, and rested, knowing they did what they did, and they feel appreciated and grounded. They feel appreciated because their leader has a different awareness of her environment and how she sees it.
The children of an employee on Max's team see dad work long hours. Dad comes home and tells stories about how stressed life was at work, and he shares ridiculous stories about things that happened. Dad's relationship with his environment reflects the leader that hired him.
The children of an employee of Daisy's team see mom go to work and come home. Mom's energy is grounded and calm. She may share a fun story about her day, or maybe not. Mom's relationship with her environment reflects the leader that hired her.
The grandchildren of the employee on Max's team grow up with a lot of attention. Sometimes, too much – the grandchildren become teens and young adults and value their freedom because they feel overprotected and over-cared for. They do this because of how their grandfather raised their father. While physically present, the grandfather was mentally absent. He was stressed and anxious and caught up in checking e-mails with his family. As a result, the parents of these grandchildren decided they want to "be there" for their kids.
The grandchildren of the employee on Daisy's team grow up grounded in who they are. Their sense of self is different, because their environment was different because they had a chance to develop their character – less affected by the roller coaster of their environment. These grandchildren grow up with a different type of stability. A different type of confidence.
Neither way of being is good or bad.
Neither is better than the other.
Each reflects different ways different people do this thing called life and business.
The greatest power we have, when we are self-aware, is to choose – proactively – the meaning we give our environment.
How we engage with ourselves, reflects how we engage with others, which reflects how we engage with our environment.
And that has an impact farther than any of us can see.
