Pain.
Suffering.
Some would tell you "the human experience is suffering."
Some would tell you "pain is inevitable."
Some would tell you "entrepreneurship will cause suffering."
I have learned to see a different story.
Humans use language to describe what we see.
Humans use these combinations of letters and words to make meaning...
"The human experience is suffering." – for example.
I provoke you, what if this was not true?
Every human being on the planet goes through a process of learning language.
In this process, humans map sounds (which we call "words") to feelings such as pain or suffering.
This is a very real process – and I honor it. I honor someone's pain and suffering.
As I write these words, I am reminded of my 34-year-old cousin.
He is one of my closest cousins.
I started my second business with him.
As I write these words, this morning, he is at a specialty doctor in Irvine, CA, getting a stint put inside of him.
This is allowing him to create space to eat since the tumor in his esophagus is affecting his ability to eat.
This growth has caused my cousin to lose 60 pounds in the past 3 months.
He's 6 feet 3 inches.
And he is battling cancer.
Yesterday I received a phone call saying it is stage 4.
This means the cancer is spreading throughout his body.
The doctor said in front of him and my immediate family that he should go on hospice.
As I write these words, I do not know how things will turn out.
But I know he will fight, quite literally, for his life. As best as he knows how.
Of course, I care for him.
Of course, I trust for the best.
Of course, I feel – and have shed tears with my family – over his pain.
Like the time when I spent the day with him, having driven him 3 hours to and from specialty treatment in Irvine at a specialized doctor.
I am grateful to have stories and experiences that have shown me the powers of life.
And as such, I live with a relentless amount of hope.
I share this story not as a way to detach myself from the idea of pain and suffering.
Some might say given the story of my life I have seen a great deal.
Pain and suffering can be very real, I don't deny it.
I don't write these words as a stoic, emotionless, detached individual.
I write these words as someone who is highly empathetic, feels strongly, and at times have been too attached.
What I am sharing is what enabled me to cope with my default way of being. My truth.
What I have learned is I allowed myself to be disempowered by pain and suffering.
I have allowed myself to be derailed by pain and suffering.
I have allowed myself to be highly unfocused and highly distracted by pain and suffering.
I have allowed myself to be a victim of pain and suffering all around me.
I am highly empathetic and it has been observed that I feel differently than most people... so perhaps this battle is unique to me. Or not.
If you want to minimize pain and suffering, so that you can be empowered in the midst of it, I invite you to read on.
Read on for the peace you can feel, despite the pain and suffering around you.
I have learned that the world we see we describe with language.
With this language, we create meaning.
With this language, we create our feelings.
Combinations of letters, which we call words, have varying amounts of emotional potency.
The words we use dictate our emotions.
The thoughts we have dictate our emotions.
I used to get trapped in thoughts of worry.
Thoughts that caused pain.
Thoughts that caused suffering.
Thoughts that, I eventually learned, are no more than a combination of letters, words, and phrases, that I derive a type of value from.
When I saw this, clearly, and slowed my life down enough to examine – it all – then I was able to create better value for myself.
I was able to change my words, which changed my thoughts, which changed the value I received, which minimized the pain and suffering I felt.
Learning how to create better value for myself, through my language, empowers me to show up in a way that is strong.
When I am strong, I am able to be there for those I love.
I remember the first phone call I received about my cousin being diagnosed with cancer weeks ago.
When I hung up that phone, to my surprise, I felt a great deal of peace.
I was stunned.
15 years prior, that same phone call would have sent me down a different path.
But not this time.
Not now.
Not after the inner work I have done.
I thought of one word.
One simple, yet powerful word, my good friend Alec implanted in my mind.
"Process."
