First person.
"I" and "We."
Second person.
"You"
Third person.
"He, "She," "It," "They."
First person, second person, and third person, are often used in describing a point of view.
For example, when you're reading a book and it's told from the point of view of a character, the language might be something like this:
"And as I was walking alongside the dark road, I begin to ponder and reflect on my busy day."
Notice how the language of first person is used because this character is the one describing the point of view.
It is their experience.
I invite you to pay closer attention to your language.
When we humans exist in the world, and when we share stories, do you think it makes sense to speak in first, second or third person?
Stories aside, when we share most things, do you think it makes sense to speak in first, second, or third person?
After all, where is the point of view created?
It is in you, dear reader.
Or it is in I.
Often times, we misuse language and our language habits don't serve us.
If you listen closely, you can learn a lot about others based on how they use language.
Imagine the person who tells a story in second person. "You" ... "You" ... "You" ...
Versus the person who tells a story in first person. "I" ... "I" ... "I" ...
Speaking in second person pulls the listener into the experience (second person speaks directly to the listener).
First person allows the listener to connect with the speaker.
While the second person does have its place, many misuse this. Some people speak in second person a majority of the time.
What do you think might happen if someone is always speaking in second person?
It may imply that they don't take ownership of their life (or they don't know how). After all, if we're always using "you" we're not really taking ownership over our language.
Sometimes, when someone switches from first to second person, it indicates something they haven't taken ownership over or something they're uncomfortable with.
Of course, the real reason someone uses specific language is only in the eye of the beholder, but more often than not these language distinctions are very telling.
For example, if you heard someone speaking in second person all the time... would you want to go into a business partnership with them?
Would you want to go into business with someone who doesn't take ownership over their life and doesn't live in a way that's grounding to who they are?
I am reminded of a call with a CEO in Europe I had. She had an employee leave and wanted to re-inspire her team.
She changed her language to speak mostly in first person.
She shared her story, from her point of view, in a way that allowed others to connect with her.
She also shared with me, a few weeks after this exercise, that she felt more vulnerable.
That can happen when someone begins speaking in first person... they're taking ownership over who they are.
It could be said that someone who doesn't speak in first person may struggle with vulnerability more than others, too.
I still remember when I shifted my language to speak more in first person.
It fundamentally changed how I lived and experienced.
If you're up for it, focus on how you speak and how others speak.
Is it first person?
Is it second person?
Does it go back and forth?
And then, I invite you, focus on speaking in first person for a month.
I wonder what might change for you.
Curious about this distinction? Dive deeper here.
