Once a month, I check in.
First Tuesday of the month, to be specific.
I individually ask each person on my team how it’s going.
I have a promise with each one of them that, pending how they answer the question, will determine if they stay on the team.
If they answer a question a certain way, they must resign.
This is the question: Are you getting more than you’re giving on this team?
Here is what my team gets
In "The High Achiever's Guide To Happiness," by Vance Caesar, I learned about several different types of currencies people can get from their work:
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Knowledge and growth.
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Relationships that give you energy or power.
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Fun.
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Life choices you want.
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Reputation and brand.
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Compensation.
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Legacy.
When I first had “the talk” with my team where we discussed this, I asked them: “Do you get more than you give to our company?”
Pending their answer, I went through the 7 different currencies they get and we talked through each one of them.
We get knowledge and growth through our work and sharing helpful feedback with one another.
I consider the relationships we have with one another inspiring (since we’re focused on learning and love what we each do).
We have fun (sometimes we like to communicate in lolcat photos instead of words in our internal communication tool, Slack).
With flexible hours, and very loose days off policy, we get life choices we want (eg. our developer, Chris, spends time with his daughters or our designer goes to the beach when she wants).
Our designer is building her reputation as a great designer (and I love to serve her from time-to-time to help strengthen her learning).
Compensation is the most basic thing people get on the team.
And lastly, legacy, which involves being a part of a team impacting business and people in a way we believe in. Legacy is our greatest why in the work we do.
Why should someone get more than they give?
One word: resentment.
When I was much younger, I used to be a people pleaser. When I found I stopped learning and was giving more than I received, I found myself resentful (although I wasn’t exactly aware of this at the time).
Resentful. Full of resent. Full of displeasure.
“Getting” is very personal and dependent upon the person receiving.
This struggle in my past is strong with me because I have a giver’s mentality.
I’m hungry. I skipped crawling as a kid and went straight to walking. My hunger has resulted in an immersive way of living. I find opportunity in every second. Learning new things, affirming beliefs or understanding, or sometimes deepening my understanding of something...
And I need to be mindful of this.
I need to consciously ask myself what I’m after and what I enjoy so I don’t find myself creating resentment in my life.
And the same is true for others.
How do you feel when you give too much to a friendship that never fulfills you?
How do you feel when you invest time into a project or an experiment or business and it has little or no returns?
It’s a game of impact. This discussion goes much deeper than it would appear.
Here is how resentment is born when giving is greater than getting
Let’s face it, our ability to give is limited.
Can you share a glass of water with someone thirsty if it has no water?
Of course not, that's silly.
Let’s start over. Let’s say you have a full glass of water.
What happens when you share it with too many people?
The water is consumed by others and eventually there is no water left.
This gives scarcity to water.
Scarcity breeds fear.
Fear limits perspective and weakens legacy and kills innovation.
Fear blinds us.
To prevent fear, we must keep self whole, full, and healthy, so that we have something to share. In order to do this, we must make sure we’re getting more than we’re giving. We must protect ourselves so that we have a self to share.
When we get more than we give, we continue to grow. Life is progress.
The same concept cultivates gratitude
When everyone is clear on what they get from being on a team, gratitude is cultivated.
Instead of saying, “I got to go to work” (one perspective), team members can say, “I get to go to work because I get (Insert what you want here: knowledge and growth, relationships that give you energy or power, fun, life choices you want, reputation and brand, compensation, legacy).”
This concept helps everyone get clear on what they get. It’s not manipulative, or lying, or deceitful, it’s helping people become mindful.
Start shifting your mindset as an entrepreneur.
Start thinking and verbally saying what you get out of the things you do.
No more gots. Create more gets in your life.
Gratitude within your culture begins with the leader.
Gratitude creates abundance which lays the foundation for trust and innovation and happiness.
As an entrepreneur, know what you’re getting
The cost of leadership is self-interest.
No longer do you fight for self. You fight for a vision. You fight for your team.
Great CEOs continually invest in self because they value their impact and understand it requires self.
What do you get from your business?
Does it fulfill a dream?
Did you help structure your internal culture to match the type of culture you’ve always wanted?
Does your business match your internal blueprint?
Does your business align with your purpose, values, and beliefs?
This is not about product/market fit. This is about founder/business fit. This is about alignment.
This is about avoiding burnout.
The farther the separation between founder and business, the higher the odds of failure and lack of motivation.
Avoid creating something and becoming a slave to it. I’ve heard these stories and I’ve lived this story.
Instead of writing the story I wanted for my life, I let my story write itself without me holding the pen. Use the pen.
Let’s be clear
Things people get can be intangible or tangible.
When I was younger, I used to fight this truth and deny it. Now, I consciously accept it.
It could be as simple as a feeling. Joy, happiness, fulfillment.
You could get time to relax.
You could get a stress-free environment.
You could get to learn something.
You could get the opportunity to impact someone’s life.
I’m calling business founders and CEOs to consciously, intentionally, and deliberately, create a company culture of gratitude because abundance-thinking is healthy. Gratitude and happiness has roots in abundance.
Embrace getting
Legacy requires self but it is not about self.
Embrace getting to keep self healthy.
Be mindful of what you get. Get > give.
Allow this concept to infiltrate your mind.
Allow your voice to speak this concept so others can step into your abundant world and understand the abundance in theirs.
Apply this concept to the most mundane of tasks.
Create the gratitude proactively. It is not an attitude. It's an intentional practice.
Decline opportunities where you don’t see what you get.
Show up consciously.
Increase your happiness and those around you by keeping this concept alive.
Reframe your reality.
Focus on what you get to live in an abundant world. Scarcity creates fear.
Harness the empowering feeling of living in that abundance.
This is about gratitude.
Gratitude is “the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful” (dictionary.com).
Change your language, change your world.
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