I remember a speaker I saw share his life story.
He was one of the many, many, speakers I've seen.
He was accomplished and had donated 50 million to a local University.
I remember when he spoke, he sounded boring.
Monotone voice, slow pacing, little emotion.
He didn’t keep my interest because he didn’t provoke anything in me.
That was my judgment of him.
This judgment affected my experience with how I heard him.
What is a judgment?
According to dictionary.com, a judgment is "the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion." Or, another definition, “the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind.”
To simplify this further, a judgment is a connection we make. It’s something we see and give meaning to.
When I saw this speaker, the meaning I gave to him was that he was boring and couldn’t keep my interest. When I made this judgment, it prevented me from honoring who he was and truly listening to what he was saying.
Although this is a small example, it goes to show how such small judgments can affect you. Imagine a combination of judgments that may hold you back.
Common judgments
Most people make judgments about many types of things.
Sometimes, it’s a judgment about another person. You may label someone something negative, or even something common, and progress stops there. Because you choose to see someone a certain way, you don’t allow yourself to see them differently.
Or maybe it’s not a judgment towards a person. Maybe it’s a practice, or a way of doing something, or a strategy.
For example, you might say meditation is not for you. Maybe you tried it and it didn’t work. Thus, you learned, it’s not for you. This is another judgment that stops progress and your evolution.
Or maybe you have a judgment over an idea. Or a question. Judgments, or labels, or criticism, or opinions, can create inner tension.
When I learned more about my judgments, they often revealed deeper parts of who I am that I was not aware of (or refused to embrace). When I learned how they held me back, and what I got from doing that, I was able to initiate the change to evolve who I am.
Judgments limit progress. Judgments keep you safe. Judgments cause you to play small.
To see judgments, slow down.
Judgments are often difficult to see, but they are everywhere. When I learned to see them in myself, I learned to see them in other people. I now use my awareness when it comes to taking on new clients, or knowing who to trust in business.
What you cannot see accurately in yourself, you cannot accurately see in others.
Slow down.
Practice introspection.
Introspection is the examination of your mental and emotional processes.
Pay attention to the labels you give things, or the strong opinions you may hold.
Understand what you get from your judgments and notice whether or not it supports or limits the vision you have for yourself.
